Our journey in adopting two children with special needs from China
"Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you." James 1:27
This week has been filled with last-minute preparations around the house, so I wanted to share some of the work we have been doing! But first...
I never gave an update after my post on the flooring that we were installing upstairs (http://fourtosixfamily.blogspot.com/2015/01/room-to-play.html). To be honest, it didn't turn out quite as nice as we were hoping. The Parr Lumber guys were right in that the pine was a bit too soft to use for indoor flooring, so each time a Lego is dropped we get a visible record of the event! :-) On top of that, the Rubio Monocoat didn't go on as evenly as we had hoped...so we have a good playroom floor that we are not worried about destroying and will certainly replace when it comes time to sell the house one day! Here it is:
If you look closely, you can scuff marks from our first day of use on the floor. It turned out not to be the best idea to let the kids drive their electric cars- gifts from Nana and Michael- on the newly finished flooring... c'est la vie! Also, for those who are waiting for Christian Warrior Wear shirts, we just got inventory in, as you can see in the corner. Most orders are shipping this week!
The latest project has been to get the beds put together. We still had William's crib from when he was a baby, so Emma and Rebecca will both have toddler-sized daybeds for a while (with Rebecca's having the safety barrier):
I leave for China early next week and will meet Rebecca on Thursday! A few days later, she and I will make the four-hour trip to meet Peter! I'M SOOO EXCITED!!!
As I said in yesterday’s video, for the next few days we will be highlighting certain resources that the Holy Spirit used, in conjunction with Scripture, to propel us to adopt Peter and Rebecca.
Today’s resource is another documentary on conditions in orphanages, this time in Bulgaria:
We originally came across this documentary when we were considering adopting a young boy named Whittaker, from the Ukraine. His story was actually the one that God used to burst open the doors of our hearts to the abandoned and helpless.
Whittaker had cerebral palsy and was only four years old; he looked a lot like our son, William, who is also four. Whittaker was left in a bed all day and his muscles had completely atrophied. We had also learned that he was about to be transferred from his orphanage if not adopted soon. Why, you ask? Because in the Ukraine and Bulgaria, children like Whittaker only have until they are four years old to get adopted from their orphanage before they are transferred.
Now, you can adopt from the mental institutions, but it not as easy- to say the least- because sadly, there are so many kids that those who don't get adopted are simply seen as lost and ultimately forgotten. Additionally, if you watch today’s documentary, you will see that these mental institutions are essentially Hell on earth. There are just too many kids and not enough people who care, Christian or not.
Thankfully, when we inquired about Whittaker, we learned that another family had already started the process of adopting him. In the end, God used this to lead us to Peter and Rebecca.
If you feel compelled, please support our adoption by purchasing a shirt at www.christianwarriorwear.com or give on our YouCaring page: http://www.youcaring.com/adoption-fundraiser/help-us-adopt-a-teenage-boy-and-a-girl-with-cerebral-palsy/278760.
The only help for orphans like Peter and Rebecca is found in God Almighty as He moves sovereignly, and as He leads though the acts of his Saints, God’s elect. To God be the glory alone!
We just signed and overnighted our Letters of Acceptance (LOA) for Peter and Rebecca! We had to sign 6 documents, two of which were solely in Chinese. I accidentally got the papers out of order and almost put the wrong child's name on each of the Chinese documents, but I was able to figure out the characters and straighten it out! Those letters are now sent off to our adoption agency and will be sent to the CCCWA (China welfare organization), so that we can get Travel Approval (TA)! We are so close now. The USCIS has the electronic copies already of the LOAs, so we should get our letters of approval from them in the next day or two. After that, I think we get a GUZ number and fill out a really long form called the DS-260, then I think that is all we need for TA!
I wanted to share that we just applied for a grant with an adoption grant agency. We're only applying for one since our time is so short and each grant costs between $25 and $50 to apply for. I see a lot of people who do not get accepted for these grants, but hopefully we will! That could mean $5000 towards our travel fees!
If we are not able to raise the $20,000 still needed, I (Kristin) may have to go to China alone to get Peter and Rebecca. We were really hoping to have the entire family go (including our two bio kids), but we would have to get another credit card to make that happen, if the money doesn't come in, and that does not seem like a good way to start as a family of 6!
On a side note, as I was rummaging through the garage the other day, I came across a large bag of Emma's size 2 clothes that I had intended to give away. The clothes are in almost new condition, since she pretty much skipped size 2 and went straight to 3! These should fit Rebecca perfectly, at least for a few months home, since she is so tiny. Small blessing!
When we began the adoption process, we received one medical report on Rebecca (Yana). It was from April of 2012, just two months after she was abandoned at the orphanage at the age of two (her estimated age). She is now five years old.
At the time, she seemed to be doing pretty well, considering she has athetoid cerebral palsy. She was making sounds and we learned that she could sit up and grasp things. Her weight was 9kg or about 20lbs, and 86cm.
Since that report, we have learned additional information about Rebecca's health. Over the past five months of the adoption process, we were blessed to come across a wonderful woman who visited Rebecca's orphanage last year. From this woman's information, we knew that Rebecca is, sadly, not progressing in her development. She is now in a wicker-basket wheelchair- sitting over a bucket potty- muscles atrophying, hardly socializing, and drooling. The woman also said that Rebecca is very quiet and shy. Other than that, she did not have a lot of information.
Three days ago, our adoption agency let us know that they just received a medical update on Rebecca, so I thought I would share. The update was very brief. It states:
4/28/2015 Update Medical/Development: Due to her special needs, local clinic could not give her immunizations. She had fever recently and is treated in the hospital. Very delayed, she cannot sit on her own, cannot stand or walk. She is not potty trained. She cannot make sounds or say any words. She often puts out her tongue even when eating. Personality: (Gives Chinese name) Introverted, is not affectionate and has stranger anxiety. General: She is in the orphanage.
The report included her vitals and current measurements. Her weight was listed at 12kg (26.5 lbs), which is only 3kg or 6.5 lbs more than she was 3 years ago. Her height is now 88cm. She has grown only 2cm in 3 years, so she is barely growing! On the Chinese growth chart, she is not even on the chart (http://www.infantchart.com/chinese0to18weightforage.php).
As for the hospitalization, I had a bad feeling that she was in the hospital a month or so ago. I had been following updates on her orphanage by an organization that supports certain foster children around China (I believe that 13 of the 60 children at Rebecca's orphanage have sponsors- Rebecca is not one of them). The organization had said that some of the more malnourished children from her orphanage were hospitalized recently because of high fevers, and I was concerned that she might be one of them- sadly, I was right. I do not know if she is still in the hospital, but our agency is asking for an update from her orphanage.
Here are the two photos that were sent with her update. You can tell in the first one that she had an IV port in, so I assume that these were taken at the hospital.
Such a somber update.
I don't know if Rebecca knows that there is a family racing to get her home. I don't know if the orphanage workers have told her, or if she could even understand if they did. I doubt it. But we are here and we are getting every piece of paperwork processed as quickly as possible to get her home. Thankfully, we got through three major steps (DTC, LID and LOA) in just 4 business days...God is at work in this process! We MUST be in China by July 1st, in order to finalize the adoption of Peter (Pang Pang) before he turns 14. Isn't it such a blessing that we get an expedite for his adoption, since she is also in so much need of love and care?
Please pray for little Rebecca- that she will stay healthy while we work
to get to her, and also that God would fill her with His peace when she
does meet us. If you would like to help with the remaining $28,000 needed for both adoptions, please purchase a shirt at www.christianwarriorwear.com. All profits go towards the adoptions. Thank you.
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"It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed." Deuteronomy 31:8
I'm so excited to share that we started a company to help fund the adoptions, Christian Warrior Wear (www.christianwarriorwear.com). Not only do we need extra funds for the $40K that we need to bring home Peter and Rebecca, we also wanted to start a company that would challenge Christians to be bold in their faith.
With Bill working on another start-up, time and resources were a huge consideration for us. Regardless, we felt God's leading and, after much prayer, Christian Warrior Wear is ultimately how we saw God directing our funding efforts for the adoptions. Neither of us have experience starting a t-shirt company, so we were glad to connect with the guys at Grunt Style who really went out of their way to get us going. You can read more on our "About" page: http://christianwarriorwear.com/about.
Bill designed the nine shirts on the site, as well as the entire website (he even made the intro video)! He had never done a website before, so he chose to use Squarespace, which pretty much guides every step. I was surprised that Squarespace made it so easy. The trickiest part for Bill was learning Photoshop to design the images and logo!
As for the shirts, here are some of the styles he came up with (the first two are my favorites because they are about adoption!):
There are a few other shirts on the website (www.christianwarriorwear.com), so be sure to check them out. All of the shirts are $22 and we make about $13 off each shirt after production costs and related expenses.
As for the adoptions, our dossier is now official on its way to China! We are DTC! Next, China will log it in and give us Provisional Approval (PA). Mid-week last week, we sent our I800 to Texas, where it has to sit for at least two weeks before heading to Missouri. Hopefully, the PA and I800 will be processed at about the same time, then we can apply for a GUZ number for Peter and Rebecca's visas! After that, we get Travel Approval and can plan our journey to China! We are hoping for this entire process to be completed within 40 days- by June 1st. That gives us one month before Peter turns 14!
For those who missed it, please check out our intro video that shares our adoption story! Also, please like our Christian Warrior Wear page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cwarriorwear?fref=nf and Twitter: @cwarriorwear.
Since the start of this adoption process, we have been moving pretty quickly with forms/paperwork. We knew that we needed to expedite things, since Payton was aging out of the adoption system, but we were unaware that we had to have the adoption finalized by his 14th birthday (July 1st)! I happened to ask our adoption agency about this today and they stated, yes, we must have everything FINALIZED before Payton turns 14. Now, we are in even more of a rush to get our customs forms approved, Dossier logged-in, and that all-important, Travel Approval!
Some may be wondering what happens if the adoption is not finalized by then. Well, from what I understand, Payton will be transferred to an adult mental institution, since he is not physically or emotionally capable of caring for himself. He will no longer be eligible for adoption. Sadly, many of these mental institutions in China lack resources, so children/adults often die from lack of care and nutrition. In Payton's case, he is only at about a first grade reading level, so he clearly would not be able to go out into the world and survive on his own at this time.
So, while we thought we had 8 months or more to raise the funds for Payton and Yana's adoptions, we now must get the funding together in about 4 months! To help bring in the finances, Bill worked with an awesome, veteran-owned t-shirt company to produce some shirts for the adoption. We will be taking pre-orders of the shirts in the next couple weeks, as samples come in and we are able to post pictures. We'll also be doing a Facebook auction soon...more details to come.
Please be in prayer for the adoption, and that things would be expedited at every level!
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Also, a contact via Facebook gave me a bunch of photos of Payton from when she met him two years ago. I thought I would share for those who want to get our little guy better!
Since receiving the pre-approval for Yana, Bill and I have been busy preparing physically, mentally and emotionally for all the exciting and challenging things to come this year. We've been reading books on cerebral palsy, started learning Chinese (I'll share more about that later!), and researching Yana's specific form of cerebral palsy, athetoid, which represents just 10% of the individuals with CP. I wanted to share some of the things that we have found in our research, in case it will help others. Most of the information is very encouraging, while some has been a bit intimidating!
In doing research, I came across three books written by adults who have CP. They all had similar stories, such as being told that they were non-verbal or mentally delayed (and later learning that this is not true), experiencing the traumatizing and agonizing therapies that were attempted to correct their symptoms (forceful movements that resulted in severe pain, as well as some useless surgeries), and harsh bullying that they went through. They also shared what helped them most physically and emotionally in dealing some of the challenges with CP. Out of the three books, the one that drew me in the most is called, "Ways out of cerebral palsy during infancy and early childhood with the Feldenkrais Method," by Paul Doron Doroftei.
In his book, Mr. Doroftei shares the incredible testimonial of a method that helped him get out of a wheelchair, increase mobility and reduce most of his CP symptoms over many months and years. At age 60, he says that he now walks better than most people his age because of the techniques that he learned through the Feldenkrais method! He explains that, when someone has CP, it is only the brain that is damaged- not the muscles or nerves in the limbs. Various cells of the brain that would normally communicate slow and steady movements to the extremities are deadened (often through a trauma at the child's birth), which results in spastic, or competing, muscular movements. This is a result of opposing expanding and contracting muscular signals (parasitic messages) being sent at the same time- resulting in hypertonicity or paralysis in the majority of people with CP. (Yana's form, athetoid, sometimes does not have this spasticity, but, rather, flailing, repetitive movements.)
The Feldenkrais Method suggests that, if you can restore proper communication between the brain and these muscles/nerves, eliminating the parasitic messages that are being sent, then more fluid movement and muscle relaxation can occur. I think of it like the "Oregon Trail" game that we all played in elementary school. Imagine that an enormous boulder has suddenly blocked the trail that leads to your destination. You must blaze a new trail to get around this obstacle, which will likely forever be used by future travelers. Similarly, once these correct paths are created in the brain, they are available permanently!
I went on to research the Feldenkrais Method further and frequently came across a related method called the Anat Baniel Method (ABM). Anat Baniel was a student of Dr. Feldenkrais (now deceased) and adapted his technique to improve the outcomes of children and adults using this therapy. She uses it for autism, CP, chronic pain, and even improving flexibility for ballet dancers! The treatments can be very costly and time consuming (I have looked locally and it is $75 for a 45-minute session), but the movements are simple enough for parents to learn and apply to their own special needs kids. In fact, Mr. Doroftei recommends this!
I ordered the ABM training video for special needs kids and am excited to start learning the techniques in the coming weeks. They are very gentle movements and the children remain calm and relaxed throughout the process (some even fall asleep). There are numerous YouTube videos online that show this, but this one is my favorite- since the child has Yana's form of CP and begins walking after just 6 sessions!
As I researched more about therapies for CP, I came across another simple option for children with CP. This involves using a compression garment called the SPIO garment. The clinic in the video below uses this garment, along with a number of therapeutic techniques, and you can see amazing results in this girl (also with Athetoid CP) in just 5 days!
I hesitated to share the below picture of Yana before because it clearly shows drool, so it is not the most flattering picture of our sweet girl. Drooling occurs in about 30% of individuals with CP, indicating an inability to swallow the normal amount of saliva the body produces. I share this now because I have learned that the Feldenkrais Method can even be used to restore connections between the brain and the swallowing muscles, so that she can learn to swallow normally! (You can read about it in the book by Mr. Doroftei.)
With a combination of therapy, and lots of love and prayer, we are very hopeful about Yana's future. Plus, she will have her big brother, Payton, encouraging her along the way. (Payton was not walking at 8 years old and now runs and even likes to play soccer!)
We can't wait to see Yana freed from her stroller and out exploring the world around her! Please keep her and Payton in your prayers.
Sorry for the delays, but we have just gotten pre-approval and are finally able to share information about Yana!
The reason for the delay is a bit complex. Yana was on the shared list, meaning that any adoption agency we wanted to go with could acquire her file for us. However, we want to adopt Payton and Yana, specifically, and at the same time. The adoption agency that we went through was the only agency that had access to Payton's files. Thus, we had to first get pre-approval from that specific agency for Payton, then get approval from the social worker doing our home study to adopt two children, then we had to begin the process again with Yana (submit a Letter of Intent, pay fees, etc.)! We have finished those steps and now have pre-approval for Yana! So, without further ado, I am so happy to share photos of our beautiful daughter!
(Taken approx. September 2012)
Isn't she lovely! When I first saw Yana's photo and bio on Reece's Rainbow, I felt like I knew her. Bill felt the same way. There was such a clear leading on our hearts that this was our daughter!
In reading the Reece's Rainbow summary (http://reecesrainbow.org/47081/yana), we were both very hopeful about Yana's prognosis. When we finally got a copy of her medical file, the report matched the RR bio and included some additional details- such as the fact that her speech was not well developed at the time of assessment, which was done in May of 2012. Since over two years have passed since that evaluation, we were confident that Yana would be progressing and likely even walking and talking now!
On a whim, I decided to "Google" her and incredibly came across the this post from September of 2012: http://martinsinchina1.blogspot.com/2012/09/waiting-child-yana.html. The woman who wrote the post was highlighting Yana as a Waiting Child and gave some more information about her health. She stated that Yana has a form of cerebral palsy called quadriplegia with an athetoid component (highly spastic). The woman's post also states that Yana has decreased head and trunk control. This was very devastating and disappointing news, since we were so hoping to hear that Yana is thriving and able to move about!
I reached out to the woman who wrote the blog post and she graciously provided even more updated information. Tragically, Yana's orphanage has very few resources. There are not as many staff as some other facilities. In addition, Yana is not likely receiving therapy. Since she does not have a foster family (like Payton), she is also not receiving any specialized care for her needs or development. In fact, during this woman's visits in 2013 and June of 2014, Yana has been in a stroller with a hole for a bedpan both times (see photo below)! It makes me so sad that they don't even have a decent wheelchair for her. The woman who wrote the post said that the children at this orphanage mingle and play together in the hallway (unusual for a Chinese orphanage), and that someone has brought Yana out with the other children both times that the woman had been there.
(Taken June 2013)
The one ray of light in this whole thing is that Yana's orphanage, along with many others in China, participates in Hugging Grannies. My prayer is that one of the three hugging grannies has been giving Yana some love and attention each day, even though the ratio is about 10:1 of children to grannies. I have seen pictures of these grannies taking the kids outside, so I hope that brings some joy to our sweet girl.
Obviously, this is one of the worst scenarios that we could imagine. Bill and I cried as we heard this news, but still felt God's leading in her adoption. Though her needs are great, we believe that she will thrive with love, therapy and quality medical care. When we bring her home, I plan to baby wear her for a good deal of time to help her bond with me, and learn to trust us to provide for her physical and emotional needs.
Here are baby pictures of our sweet girl:
We desperately need help with the remaining funds to bring our kids home. Please consider giving- even a small amount. We have already raised almost $2,000 of our $32,000 goal between Reece's Rainbow (http://reecesrainbow.org/85271/sponsorrobinson-6) funds and our Youcaring page. If we can get 3,000 people to give $10, we will be there!
We've also been putting together an idea for a Give-away, so we could use donations of a time-share or something else large to give... Again, anything helps! Thank you!
